Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Marine are all working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie.
The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada.' POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.' POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Marine says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.' The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.' The Marine sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lites a cigar, smiles and says, 'Fill it with water.'
a canadian, osama and a marine, one day...
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PKM
- General
- Posts: 1888
- Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2005 4:43 pm
- Location: Philadelpia but stuck in San Antonio TX (hell)
a canadian, osama and a marine, one day...
i'm not f****** angry, i'm from philadelphia .
PKM is driving down the Schuylkill Expressway (pronounced ?Sure-kill?,) PKM is driving down the Schuylkill Expressway, and traffic is worse than ever. People honking, flashing their lights at him, the works.
He turns on KYW news radio for a traffic report. The radio blares, ?NEWS FLASH! NEWS FLASH! There?s a maniac driving the wrong way down the Schuylkill Expressway!?
PKM looks around and exclaims, ?My God, there?s a lot of them!?
He turns on KYW news radio for a traffic report. The radio blares, ?NEWS FLASH! NEWS FLASH! There?s a maniac driving the wrong way down the Schuylkill Expressway!?
PKM looks around and exclaims, ?My God, there?s a lot of them!?
"all the governments in the world are corrupt and in the hands of the Illuminati"
I would but I don't find many people here, or at any other forum very interesting.PKM wrote: you need to come around more often boss . don't think you have to wait until nfl season to do so .
People aren't interested in discussing topics, just a crass statement to try to make themselves seem clever. gets old.
"all the governments in the world are corrupt and in the hands of the Illuminati"
Hey Hog, hey PKM.
Made me smile to see you two still here, how the hell is it going?
I am doing ok, been wrapped up in work and crap, just thought I would
check out the old place, cool
Philip II of Macedon sent a message to Sparta:
"If I win this war, you will be slaves forever."
The Spartan ephors sent back a one word reply: "If".
"If I win this war, you will be slaves forever."
The Spartan ephors sent back a one word reply: "If".
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PKM
- General
- Posts: 1888
- Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2005 4:43 pm
- Location: Philadelpia but stuck in San Antonio TX (hell)
holy crap, now jack ruby ?!
i should start joke threads more often . maybe it's some kind of magical beacon (ie. somewhere, world....''hey, i sense PKM is telling a funny, i feel drawn to be ''....great now i'm melding this into the highlander) .
i'll tell one of my old time favorites and see if we can't get m79 & godsmack here :
now, i must first say this is a total guys joke . not saying another gender would get it but only guys seem to :
one day an ant was walking through the jungle when he heard a tremendous sobbing . being curious, he continued on until he found a huge elephant crying and weeping .
''what is wrong, elephant ?" asked the ant
through gasps and tears, the elephant moaned:
"oh ant i have stepped upon a thorn, i can't reach it and it hurts so much !''
to which the ant offered:
''mighty elephant, i will take the thorn out for you but you must grant me one wish, only one but i must warn you now, it may be a task you regret .''
''anything ant, the pain, what is this wish ?!''
''mighty elephant, should i remove the thorn and cease your pain i ask only this: to **** you dead in the a** .'' informed the ant with a straight face .
the elephant ment to ponder a way around this wish when he shifted his awesome weight, causing the thorn to move and paralyzing him with a fresh round of pain .
''YES YES ANT REMOVE THE THORN AND YOU CAN DO AS YOU WISH !!'' bellowed the agonized elephant . and so the ant did .
''now mighty elephant, i will **** you dead in the a**. prepare yourself .''
the elephant sighed and leaned his head against a coconut tree, relieved that the pain was gone but hoping no one would pass by and witness this embarrassing act . so the ant crawled up the elephants tree sized leg, up across his boulder sized hip until he reached the elephant's tail which he brushed to the side and with an arch of his ant back, proceeded to **** that elephant dead in the a** .
the elephant wishing to finish the deed as soon as possible, attempted to arouse the ant quicker by rocking back and forth, matching the ant's motions but by doing so he began to bump his large head against the coconut tree . eventually the constant pounding loosened a coconut from the branches above . the coconut fell and hit the elephant square on his head .
''ow'' muttered the elephant
''HA-HAAAA! TAKE IT ALL B***** !!!!!'' triumphed the ant .
i should start joke threads more often . maybe it's some kind of magical beacon (ie. somewhere, world....''hey, i sense PKM is telling a funny, i feel drawn to be ''....great now i'm melding this into the highlander) .
i'll tell one of my old time favorites and see if we can't get m79 & godsmack here :
now, i must first say this is a total guys joke . not saying another gender would get it but only guys seem to :
one day an ant was walking through the jungle when he heard a tremendous sobbing . being curious, he continued on until he found a huge elephant crying and weeping .
''what is wrong, elephant ?" asked the ant
through gasps and tears, the elephant moaned:
"oh ant i have stepped upon a thorn, i can't reach it and it hurts so much !''
to which the ant offered:
''mighty elephant, i will take the thorn out for you but you must grant me one wish, only one but i must warn you now, it may be a task you regret .''
''anything ant, the pain, what is this wish ?!''
''mighty elephant, should i remove the thorn and cease your pain i ask only this: to **** you dead in the a** .'' informed the ant with a straight face .
the elephant ment to ponder a way around this wish when he shifted his awesome weight, causing the thorn to move and paralyzing him with a fresh round of pain .
''YES YES ANT REMOVE THE THORN AND YOU CAN DO AS YOU WISH !!'' bellowed the agonized elephant . and so the ant did .
''now mighty elephant, i will **** you dead in the a**. prepare yourself .''
the elephant sighed and leaned his head against a coconut tree, relieved that the pain was gone but hoping no one would pass by and witness this embarrassing act . so the ant crawled up the elephants tree sized leg, up across his boulder sized hip until he reached the elephant's tail which he brushed to the side and with an arch of his ant back, proceeded to **** that elephant dead in the a** .
the elephant wishing to finish the deed as soon as possible, attempted to arouse the ant quicker by rocking back and forth, matching the ant's motions but by doing so he began to bump his large head against the coconut tree . eventually the constant pounding loosened a coconut from the branches above . the coconut fell and hit the elephant square on his head .
''ow'' muttered the elephant
''HA-HAAAA! TAKE IT ALL B***** !!!!!'' triumphed the ant .
i'm not f****** angry, i'm from philadelphia .