Quick Joke
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Quick Joke
Ok, so a policeman went out one day to catch a bad man so he finally catches him and says "C'mon then lets be avin' you" and the man says, "where do you live"? The policeman says "Thats obvious, Letsbe avenue" The man was shocked to hear this but later when he heard that the policeman always said 'lets be avin you' he' realised!!!
ok ok i got one, ok this is a true story
An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through She
leans over and says, " I just let a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"
He replies " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
An elderly couple was attending church services, about halfway through She
leans over and says, " I just let a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"
He replies " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
"all the governments in the world are corrupt and in the hands of the Illuminati"
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PKM
- General
- Posts: 1888
- Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2005 4:43 pm
- Location: Philadelpia but stuck in San Antonio TX (hell)
for some reason only guys laught at this joke .........
so there's an elephant right ? and see this elephant winds up stepping on a thorn, k ? well he screams real loud and starts moaning and groaning about how much it hurts, to no one in particular ( you know how elephants are the biggest p*****ys). well, this little ant happens by the big cry baby elephant with the thorn in his paw, still yelling and screaming and in tears now, go figure. the elephant sees the ant and says:
"Ant ! I've stepped on a thorn and it hurts ! I can't get it out !"
"and ?", replies the ant.
"And oh it hurts so ! " continued the elephant "If you take it out , anything you want is yours !"
well the ant thought for about ten seconds and then came back with his offer for the task...
"Elephant, tell you what; IF i pull out the thorn from your paw, i wish only one thing from you and that one thing is.....to let me f*** you up the a**."
The elephant forgot about the pain as he pondered the ant's strange request. He shifted his paw and the pain came rushing back.
"OKAY OKAY ! YOU CAN F*** ME UP THE A** , ANT ! JUST GET THE THORN OUT !!!!!", screamed the elephant.
so the ant proceeded to remove the thorn with the flick of his ant hand. the elephant, knowing his duty to fullfill his promise, turned and leaned his head against a coconut tree to bare the reward to the ant. the ant walked to the elephant's mighty leg and climbed up the side. after five minutes of climbing he arrived at the elephant's tail, batted it aside , pulled down his ant trousers and begain to f*** that elephant in the a**, proper like. the elephant, wishing to get this embarassing moment done and overwith, begain to sway back and forth against the coconut tree, banging his head against the coconut tree's trunk . this soon loosened a coconut which in turn fell , striking the elephant square on the head.
"ow. " said the elephant .
"THAT'S RIGHT, TAKE IT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL BI***H !!!!!!!!!!" , commanded the ant.
so there's an elephant right ? and see this elephant winds up stepping on a thorn, k ? well he screams real loud and starts moaning and groaning about how much it hurts, to no one in particular ( you know how elephants are the biggest p*****ys). well, this little ant happens by the big cry baby elephant with the thorn in his paw, still yelling and screaming and in tears now, go figure. the elephant sees the ant and says:
"Ant ! I've stepped on a thorn and it hurts ! I can't get it out !"
"and ?", replies the ant.
"And oh it hurts so ! " continued the elephant "If you take it out , anything you want is yours !"
well the ant thought for about ten seconds and then came back with his offer for the task...
"Elephant, tell you what; IF i pull out the thorn from your paw, i wish only one thing from you and that one thing is.....to let me f*** you up the a**."
The elephant forgot about the pain as he pondered the ant's strange request. He shifted his paw and the pain came rushing back.
"OKAY OKAY ! YOU CAN F*** ME UP THE A** , ANT ! JUST GET THE THORN OUT !!!!!", screamed the elephant.
so the ant proceeded to remove the thorn with the flick of his ant hand. the elephant, knowing his duty to fullfill his promise, turned and leaned his head against a coconut tree to bare the reward to the ant. the ant walked to the elephant's mighty leg and climbed up the side. after five minutes of climbing he arrived at the elephant's tail, batted it aside , pulled down his ant trousers and begain to f*** that elephant in the a**, proper like. the elephant, wishing to get this embarassing moment done and overwith, begain to sway back and forth against the coconut tree, banging his head against the coconut tree's trunk . this soon loosened a coconut which in turn fell , striking the elephant square on the head.
"ow. " said the elephant .
"THAT'S RIGHT, TAKE IT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL BI***H !!!!!!!!!!" , commanded the ant.
Last edited by PKM on Wed Mar 08, 2006 9:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
i'm not f****** angry, i'm from philadelphia .
Chili---
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Laramie, Wyoming. He sits at
the counter next to an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a
full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of watching the old cowboy just staring at the bowl of
chili, the young cowboy leans over and bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you
ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his
best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place
and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and
notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately
pukes up the chili back into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too.
A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Laramie, Wyoming. He sits at
the counter next to an old cowboy with his arms folded staring blankly at a
full bowl of chili.
After fifteen minutes of watching the old cowboy just staring at the bowl of
chili, the young cowboy leans over and bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you
ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his
best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place
and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and
notices a dead mouse in the chili. The sight was shocking and he immediately
pukes up the chili back into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too.
"all the governments in the world are corrupt and in the hands of the Illuminati"
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PKM
- General
- Posts: 1888
- Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2005 4:43 pm
- Location: Philadelpia but stuck in San Antonio TX (hell)
canadian logging company.....
so this scrawny guy decides to ''man up'' by putting some muscles on his body. he reads an ad about this canadian logging company hiring tree cutters and figures that's the way to pack on the bulk. he's hired and soon arrives at the campsite, puts in his first full day of hard work and joins the rest of the cutting crew (all big, strong, hulking canadian tree cutting vetrans) in the mess hall for dinner. dinner is served and everyone digs in so soon the only sounds are grunts and forks hitting plates. suddenly the burly logger to the scrawny guy's right lifts his hip and lets out a loud fart. the scrawny guy looks around because no one says a thing about this. then the huge logger to the scrawny guy's left breaks wind and again, no one mentions it. so feeling a little back up in his system, the scrawny new comer lifts up his leg and lets out a little peep-squeek of a fart.
the far end of the mess hall table all but explodes as a giant, the biggest, baddest, meanest canadian tree cutter stands up, swings his mighty axe down into the table and announces with a roar...
" THE VIRGIN IS MINE ! "
so this scrawny guy decides to ''man up'' by putting some muscles on his body. he reads an ad about this canadian logging company hiring tree cutters and figures that's the way to pack on the bulk. he's hired and soon arrives at the campsite, puts in his first full day of hard work and joins the rest of the cutting crew (all big, strong, hulking canadian tree cutting vetrans) in the mess hall for dinner. dinner is served and everyone digs in so soon the only sounds are grunts and forks hitting plates. suddenly the burly logger to the scrawny guy's right lifts his hip and lets out a loud fart. the scrawny guy looks around because no one says a thing about this. then the huge logger to the scrawny guy's left breaks wind and again, no one mentions it. so feeling a little back up in his system, the scrawny new comer lifts up his leg and lets out a little peep-squeek of a fart.
the far end of the mess hall table all but explodes as a giant, the biggest, baddest, meanest canadian tree cutter stands up, swings his mighty axe down into the table and announces with a roar...
" THE VIRGIN IS MINE ! "
i'm not f****** angry, i'm from philadelphia .
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Trash Can Man
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