Funny :)
Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2002 8:51 pm
Bar Translations: What they really mean...
"No, really, I'm OK to drive." -- I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to
have anybody see who I am going home with.
"I'm not used to these darts." -- I'm not used to throwing anything smaller
than a pool cue when I am this plastered.
"Let's go out to my car and get some cigarettes." (male to female) -- You
would look great face down in my lap.
"You get this one, next round is on me." -- We won't be here long enough
to get another round.
"I'll get this one, next one is on you." -- Happy hour is about to end....
now beers are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.
"I haven't seen you around here for a long time." -- You stuck up little
bi*ch, too good for your old friends??
"Hey, where is that friend of yours?" -- I have no interest in talking to
you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising
position.
"Let's get out of here." -- I just dumped half a jug of beer into that
Harley guy's helmet.
"Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female) -- I'm easy.
"Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male) -- I'm gay.
"Ever try a body shot?" (male to female) -- I am even willing to drink
tequila if it means that I get to lick you.
"Ever try a body shot?" (female to male) -- If this is how wild I am in
the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?
"I don't feel well, let's go home." (female) -- You are paying more
attention to your friends than me.
"I don't feel well, let's go home." (male) -- I'm horny.
"I've had like 10 beers already." -- I've only had 3 but need an excuse
to behave this way.
"Who's got the next round?" -- I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years,
but I am an expert at diverting attention.
"Excuse me." (male to male) -- Get the **fudge** out of the way.
"Excuse me." (male to female) -- I am going to grope you now.
"Excuse me." (female to male) -- Don't even think about groping me, just
get the **fudge** out of the way.
"Excuse Me." (female to female). -- Move your fat **smelly bootie**. Who do you think
you are anyway? You are not all that hot, missy, and don't think for one
minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho...Get your eyes
off of my man, or I'll slap you, bi*ch, like the slut you are.
"I'm out of here, I have to work in the morning." -- I owe that guy who
just walked in the door 100 bucks and have been avoiding him since football season.
"What do you have on tap?" -- What's cheap?
"You go ahead, I'll catch a cab." -- I already lined up a ride home with
your "ex".
"That person looks really familiar." -- Did I sleep with her?
"Can I just get a glass of water?" (female) -- I'm annoying, but cute
enough to get away with this.
"Can I just get a glass of water?" (male) -- It's 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking an hour ago. Hell, I probably dropped half of my
paycheck in here last night, it is the least you can do for me.
"Do you have any Wild Turkey?" -- I want to make my friend really sick
so we can all laugh at him in the morning.
"I don't have my ID on me." (female) -- I'm 19.
"I don't have my ID on me." (male) -- I don't have a licence since I got
pulled over and blew a .32 after my last visit here.
"No, really, I'm OK to drive." -- I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to
have anybody see who I am going home with.
"I'm not used to these darts." -- I'm not used to throwing anything smaller
than a pool cue when I am this plastered.
"Let's go out to my car and get some cigarettes." (male to female) -- You
would look great face down in my lap.
"You get this one, next round is on me." -- We won't be here long enough
to get another round.
"I'll get this one, next one is on you." -- Happy hour is about to end....
now beers are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.
"I haven't seen you around here for a long time." -- You stuck up little
bi*ch, too good for your old friends??
"Hey, where is that friend of yours?" -- I have no interest in talking to
you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising
position.
"Let's get out of here." -- I just dumped half a jug of beer into that
Harley guy's helmet.
"Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female) -- I'm easy.
"Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male) -- I'm gay.
"Ever try a body shot?" (male to female) -- I am even willing to drink
tequila if it means that I get to lick you.
"Ever try a body shot?" (female to male) -- If this is how wild I am in
the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?
"I don't feel well, let's go home." (female) -- You are paying more
attention to your friends than me.
"I don't feel well, let's go home." (male) -- I'm horny.
"I've had like 10 beers already." -- I've only had 3 but need an excuse
to behave this way.
"Who's got the next round?" -- I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years,
but I am an expert at diverting attention.
"Excuse me." (male to male) -- Get the **fudge** out of the way.
"Excuse me." (male to female) -- I am going to grope you now.
"Excuse me." (female to male) -- Don't even think about groping me, just
get the **fudge** out of the way.
"Excuse Me." (female to female). -- Move your fat **smelly bootie**. Who do you think
you are anyway? You are not all that hot, missy, and don't think for one
minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho...Get your eyes
off of my man, or I'll slap you, bi*ch, like the slut you are.
"I'm out of here, I have to work in the morning." -- I owe that guy who
just walked in the door 100 bucks and have been avoiding him since football season.
"What do you have on tap?" -- What's cheap?
"You go ahead, I'll catch a cab." -- I already lined up a ride home with
your "ex".
"That person looks really familiar." -- Did I sleep with her?
"Can I just get a glass of water?" (female) -- I'm annoying, but cute
enough to get away with this.
"Can I just get a glass of water?" (male) -- It's 6:00 am and I just stopped drinking an hour ago. Hell, I probably dropped half of my
paycheck in here last night, it is the least you can do for me.
"Do you have any Wild Turkey?" -- I want to make my friend really sick
so we can all laugh at him in the morning.
"I don't have my ID on me." (female) -- I'm 19.
"I don't have my ID on me." (male) -- I don't have a licence since I got
pulled over and blew a .32 after my last visit here.
.