The Footless Parrot
Posted: Mon May 17, 2004 3:16 am
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud; "Jeesh! I wonder what
happened to this Parrot?" The parrot turns to him and says, "I was born this
way. I'm a defective parrot."..........................."HOLY SHIT," the guy replies.
"You actually understood and answered me!"......."I got every word," says the parrot.
"I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this - How do you hang onto your perch
without any feet?"............."Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing, but
since you asked, I wrap my penis around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't
see it because of my feathers."............................................."Wow" says the guy,
"You really can understand and speak English, can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable
competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.
You really ought to buy me I'd be a great companion. The guy looks at the
$200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."............"Don't worry about the
price tag," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause
I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is
sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal,
he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is
delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes
"Pssssssssst", and motions him over with one wing.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When the postman delivered today,
your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nighty and began
petting her all over" reported the parrot. "My God!" he exclaims. "Then what happened?"
"Then he took her nighty completely off and began to lick her all over, starting with her
breasts and slowly going down"........................"WELL???" demands the frantic guy,
"THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"..........."Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
lol
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud; "Jeesh! I wonder what
happened to this Parrot?" The parrot turns to him and says, "I was born this
way. I'm a defective parrot."..........................."HOLY SHIT," the guy replies.
"You actually understood and answered me!"......."I got every word," says the parrot.
"I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this - How do you hang onto your perch
without any feet?"............."Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing, but
since you asked, I wrap my penis around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't
see it because of my feathers."............................................."Wow" says the guy,
"You really can understand and speak English, can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable
competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.
You really ought to buy me I'd be a great companion. The guy looks at the
$200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."............"Don't worry about the
price tag," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause
I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is
sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal,
he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is
delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes
"Pssssssssst", and motions him over with one wing.
"I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When the postman delivered today,
your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nighty and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nighty and began
petting her all over" reported the parrot. "My God!" he exclaims. "Then what happened?"
"Then he took her nighty completely off and began to lick her all over, starting with her
breasts and slowly going down"........................"WELL???" demands the frantic guy,
"THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"..........."Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
lol
Great joke, you should put it in joke of the day!